This blog has been created to allow a safe site for victims of pit bull attacks to express their feelings and thoughts. This site will be heavily moderated to protect those who wish to voice themselves, and not fear being attacked by the owners of these animals who have unfortunately worked their ways in to their lives. There is no place here for anyone who wishes to defend the breed or their owners. Anyone who wishes to contribute their own story, email it to firstname.lastname@example.org
Saturday, 23 November 2013
The Power of Goodbye
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye
Ah Madonna, my go to choice for all types of music. I've listened to this song when I know I need to give things or people up.
It's been a long time since I've put proverbial pen to paper here, once upon a time my head bubbled with post after post, line after line, word after word.
It's been about 120 weeks since that day in that house, when Little Man King was saved, for whatever reason. Since then, I've learned so much, about that side of this fence, this side of the fence, us, me and of course him. I've also learned a lot about loyalty, disloyalty, the power of words, the even more affluent power of silence, and that blood isn't always thicker than water, which was surprisingly the hardest lesson of all. This movement is one with a harsh divider, strong opinions need to be expressed, hard choices made, I don't regret any. I won't let regret creep in.
After Little Man got attacked, my philosophy on what and who should be close to us and him changed completely. I learned after years of not speaking my mind, of not being truthful and thinking first of not wanting to hurt the other person, all that had to disappear when something like this happens to your child, my child. Stand your ground, and I did.
The shocking sadness of the reaction after our story was made public, was my first lesson, and it was a lonely painful one to learn. It was like a ten ton weight had been placed on shoulders, a heavy reminder that many out there care more about dogs than children. That is really fucked up (whoops, promised myself I wouldn't swear on this post) Then I learned it wasn't just children that took a back seat to the maulers, it was EVERY victim, no matter the age...then I learned it was EVERY type of victim, dog, cat, llama no matter what, those fucking mutants were always given one more get out jail free card.
What I also learned on this journey, is that there are some amazing, supportive like minded people out there. They wrapped us up in a warm, safe place to be...I liken it now to a cocoon of sorts. Inside it, we all morphed. Mr. King became a staunch supporter of all I said and did, he became the fixture I needed when venting was necessary, he became the safest place of all. Little Man King...what did he become? He became what he was meant to be I think, a survivor who has been able to put it all in a box, and close the lid. And now, that's what I must become in a way...a survivor who puts it in a box, and closes the lid.
I won't ever stop speaking up for victims...all my life I've wondered how I would be remembered when I die...once upon a time, my career drove me, now this does, if I can help just one or two get through like we did, my job is done, I hope they remember me as I'll remember them.
I know not everyone believes in how I've stand on this side the fence, some believe I'm harsh and perhaps inappropriate, likely, thats true, but that's what this side of the fence needs sometimes, because what happened and will continue to happen to ours is so harsh. No room for regret, no room for second guessing. My stand is simple, with us or not? 100% in or not. If you aren't, find ways to make sure I never know.
What kind of good bye is this? I think I've realized I became less about the growth of our moving past that day, and dove more into nutter bashing (a sport all its own I know) but one day I want Confessions bound and put on our book shelf, I want Little Man King to know how much this impacted my life and changed me, help define me and helped me figure out that I CAN make a difference in lives, if only one or two people. Yes, there has been collateral damage along the way, but I always chose him over all others, that's what I want him growing up knowing.
Is this the end of me blogging, god I hope so...I hope we truly are morphed to the point of being able to open our wings a bit, and flutter past the direct impact that pitbull had on us. If I can listen to Little Man King's words, he's ready, and so should I be. I'm listening dude.
I hope other victims continue to read our stories, and that it will be helpful. You'll make it too, I promise...just let the healing in, let those of us on this side of the fence in.
Will I stop this work...never. I will continue to speak out publicly, privately, one on one, at meetings, in front of officials, to the woman checking out my groceries that recognize him. But now, I do it with so much knowledge of truth, to have all the information you've all helped me with is an amazing gift, it added to my confidence, it added to my power but most importantly, helped me see that what we are doing is right.
For any victim who wants to contribute their story to Confessions, please do...
On Confessions is also a vast list of blogs, and souls who care about you too...there are many different types to read..for all the emotions you will experience for how ever long.
To all those who I am proud to stand with...thank you! You've helped a family survive.